


Grief

by Rakshi



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5907067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean felt grief when he read Don Henley's tribute to Glen Frey - but not ONLY for Don, for himself as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief

Someone was pounding on his door. Not knocking or even banging (as Dom was wont to do) but POUNDING. He wondered for a panicked moment if the building were on fire, then ran to answer it, not even taking time to put his shoes on. He opened it on a disheveled Sean.

"Sean, what the f..."

"Oh, thank god!" Sean gasped. He pushed into the house then immediately wheeled and clasped Elijah in his arms, holding him in an almost desperately tight embrace. "Thank god," Sean murmured again and again, his face pressed to Elijah's neck.

"Sean, what the hell is going on? What's wrong?" Elijah could feel him trembling, clutching at Elijah as though he would never release him. Sean made no answer, just shook his head violently and clutched Elijah even closer.

Finally, in desperation, Elijah grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard. "Sean! What the fuck is going on! You're scaring me!"

Sean stared at him for a long moment as his eyes slowly filled, then lowered his face into his hands and moaned. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

"Look," Elijah said, shaking him again. "Just tell me. Are Chris and the girls OK?"

Sean nodded, then reached to draw Elijah into his embrace again. "They're fine," he mumbled, his face pressed to Elijah's shoulder. 

Elijah pulled free, dragged Sean to a nearby sofa and forced him to sit down. He grabbed Sean's hands and held them tightly. "Sean!" he said firmly. "Look at me!"

Sean raised his eyes to Elijah's.

"Now take a breath," Elijah said, more gently, then nodded as Sean complied. "OK," Elijah continued. "Don't drop your eyes, look at me." When Sean again complied Elijah leaned toward him. "What the FUCK is wrong?"

Sean clasped his hands tightly, then he shook his head and his eyes fell. "You'll -" he choked out. " - you'll laugh at me."

"Sean," Elijah said firmly but gently, "I swear to god I absolutely will NOT laugh at you. I don't find any of this funny, least of all the sight of you in this much pain. Tell me what brought this on!"

Sean swallowed hard. "Well," he breathed, seeming to gain some control of his emotions. "You know... all those people who died recently. Bowie, Rickman... "

"Yeah, and Glen Frey, I know. Is THAT why you're this upset?"

Sean shook his head. ”No - well - yes." He sighed in frustration with himself. "Did you see the tribute Don Henley wrote for Glen?"

"I did. It was sad and very touching."

"I read it," Sean said, his voice choking again. "I read it and I thought - I thought what if that was me writing about - about..." he stopped, unable to speak.

"About me," Elijah finished for him.

Sean nodded, then clutched him close again. "God, Elijah," he whispered hoarsely . "I couldn't bear it. If I lost you - I don't know what I'd do."

Elijah smiled against Sean's shoulder and rocked him in his arms, gently stroking his back. "Ahhhh," he said softly. "Now I understand." 

He felt Sean relax a bit in his embrace. "Listen to me, duffus," Elijah murmured against his ear. "You're here. I'm here. We're together. And we're both fine."

He leaned back and cradled Sean's face in both hands. "Those guys were in their late 60's," he said finally. "We have a LONG way to go 'til we even get to that point. And if you're really worried about it, Seanie, the thing you need to do, ummmm... rather than getting all upset about things that aren't likely to happen for a long, long time... is make the time we DO have together as good as we can possibly make it! In other words..."

"All we have to decide...," Sean began, starting to smile in understanding.

"Exactly," Elijah told him, and rubbed their noses together in an Eskimo kiss.

"All I could think," Sean whispered, his hands moving to cover Elijah's. "Is that if anything DID happen to you or even to ME, you wouldn't know how I really felt. You'd think..." he stopped suddenly because Elijah laughed out loud.

"Are you kidding?" Elijah laughed. "Don't know how you really feel..." he left the sentence unfinished and shook his head. "Sean, I know exactly how you feel. I always have. And in spite of the fact that we don't see each other as much as we used to, I know with absolute certainty that nothing has changed." 

"You know that?" Sean said in surprise. "I was terrified that you didn't know how much I still love you, Elijah."

Elijah leaned back and smiled, keeping Sean's hands clasped in his. "You know, there's a song I like. I know damned well that _you've_ never heard it because your taste in music sucks. BUT...," he said, still smiling, "... it has always reminded me of you and I, Seanie. And the reason I love it and the reason it reminds me of us is that it's so damned.... _unreasonable_! I mean, it makes no sense at all. It's almost... otherworldly."

"What is it?" Sean said, beginning to smile himself.

"It's called 'Something About Us' and it's by a group called 'Daft Punk'."

"Yeeeaaaahhhh," Sean drawled slowly. "Never heard of it - or them."

"Imagine my surprise," Elijah giggled. "Anyway, the lyrics say... - I won't sing them because I don't sing all that well and these words are important to me." And he stared into Sean's eyes and recited.

> "It might not be the right time  
>  I might not be the right one  
>  But there's something about us, I want to say  
>  'Cause there's something between us anyway
> 
> I might not be the right one  
>  It might not be the right time  
>  But there's something about us I've got to do  
>  Some kind of secret I will share with you
> 
> I need you more than anything in my life  
>  I want you more than anything in my life  
>  I'll miss you more than anyone in my life  
>  I love you more than anyone in my life"

He stopped and for a moment neither of them moved or spoke. Then Sean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Elijah's. The kiss was long and lingering and they swiftly moved into each other's embrace as it lengthened and slowly turned to several more kisses, each one soft and touchingly intimate.

"God, I love you," Sean whispered when the kiss finally ended. "Like the song says, I love you more than anyone in my life. And that's the honest-to-God truth, Elijah. You ARE the right one. No one else could ever be... only you."

"You feeling better?" Elijah asked, leaning back a bit from their embrace. 

"A lot better. Thank you, Elijah. And I'm sorry. I guess I sorta - I dunno - freaked out on you."

"You sure as hell did," Elijah agreed. "But I know a way you could make it up to me." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively then winked.

"Yeah?" Sean said, smiling in return. "And what might that be?"

"Stay with me tonight," Elijah requested in a soft voice. "Really be with me... like you used to."

"Are you sure, baby?" Sean asked softly. "I don't want to think you're just feeling sorry for me or something."

Elijah wrapped his arms around Sean's neck and kissed him passionately. "There," he breathed finally. "Does that convince you?"

Sean held Elijah tightly and grinned. "Weeeell, actually... I could use a little more convincing."

Elijah laughed and kissed him again. "How's that?"

"Wonderful," he murmured. "And I have to come clean and say that staying with you was my plan all along." He sighed contentedly, his breath stirring the soft hair at Elijah's temple. "If I could get you to approve it, I mean."

"Consider it approved," Elijah murmured. He knew he'd probably pay a huge emotional cost when this night was over. He always did. But right now, as he felt the strength of Sean's arms tightening around his body, he couldn't help but believe that this night would be worth any price he had to pay.

_"Something About Us" by Daft Punk is from Elijah's own playlist._


End file.
